wankbankofamerica:

reasons i tend to not talk

  • people always interrupt me to tell another story because apparently my story isn’t good enough for their ears
  • i sound like an idiot who just learned to talk two hours ago
  • people seem disinterested in what i’m saying
  • i hate my voice
  • i have something really mean to say
  • i hate you
  • i repeat because this happens a lot: people interrupt me and never let me finish and i feel really shitty about myself because no one seems to want to listen to me

(via sam-winchester-is-unamoosed)

communistbakery:

I tried to make a pun about elastic but it was a stretch

(Source: communistbakery, via crystallized-teardrops)

staff:

rustandlead:

fearlesslarry:

koishy:

can we just talk about how this always ends up happening somehow

I end up with 10+ tabs all the time

i end up with so many that they don’t even say tumblr they are just little squares.

image

(via deezznuttss)

ask-gallows-callibrator:

levi-has-the-booty:

Teacher: Reading a book is better than sex.
[Class titters]
Teacher: It’s like a 10-hour orgasm!
[Laughter increases]
Girl pipes up: Yeah, and with a book I actually get to finish!
[Boys’ laughter dies off almost instantly as the girls hoot]

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH 

SHOTS FIRED 

(Source: sneakyfeets, via letmelickyournipples)

verysmalldeer:

nevecampbell:

I just wanna s*** some d***

HOW MANY DOGS ARE YOU LOOKING TO SELL

(via detective-p00kie)